The Hard Drives I Couldn’t Delete
Photographs are a photographer’s memories of the past.
If that’s true, then I’ve filled countless hard drives with memories.
As a young photographer, I saved everything. Events. Portraits. Candid moments. I couldn’tbring myself to delete a single image. At the time, I thought I was backing up photos. Looking back, I realize I was preserving pieces of people’s lives. Ironically, most of those memories came from the type of photography I dreaded most: events.
I hated shooting them. Not because of the people—I genuinely enjoyed my clients—but because of everything else: terrible lighting, racing the clock, and the pressure of never missing the shot. Some photographers thrive in that environment. I have nothing but respect for them.
Me?
(Ronnie Coleman voice.)
That ain’t for me.
The jobs paid the bills. The lessons made me better. But once I delivered the gallery, I was already thinking about the next assignment. Years later, I opened those old hard drives. The jobs I couldn’t wait to finish had become memories I couldn’t stop looking at. Kids had grown up. Families had changed. Some people had passed on. Some stories had endings I never saw coming. Then I came across a photograph I had taken during an ALS Ice Bucket Challenge in Yonkers, New York.
Team John and Mayor Mike Spano at the Yonkers Raceway Casino doing the Ice bucket challenge
When I made this photograph, it was just another assignment. John was fighting ALS. I was taking pictures. Looking back, I realize we were standing in the same room—but seeing two completely different things. Maybe the photograph never changed. Maybe I did. Today, my heart pulls me toward street and documentary photography. Not because I’ve stopped loving photography, but because I’ve started seeing people differently.
Man sitting outside of his residence in Washington Heights, 162nd Street.
Every person I meet is carrying a story I’ll never fully know.
Through photography, I’m invited into a small part of it.
“The work that once paid my bills taught me how to use a camera. The people standing in front of it taught me why.”
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a few hard drives to clean out.